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 Post Apocalyptic Poland

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Number of posts : 773
Registration date : 2007-04-26

Post Apocalyptic Poland Empty
PostSubject: Post Apocalyptic Poland   Post Apocalyptic Poland EmptyTue 3 Feb - 12:49:59

Post Apocalyptic Poland

Times are hard. Very hard. Firstly business is bad. I can’t get the raw material like you once could; all my suppliers seem to be having problems. Staying alive that is. I can’t get the proper help: Have you met Krueger? And Ivan? My customers have dried up. Well perhaps that’s the wrong phrase, actually, many of them have become much squishier and well, frankly rotten.

But it doesn’t end there: Have you seen my so called companions? Petrova and her biker gang; Hollylicious and her two best friends, both clearly lesbians. (That’s Pavlova and Hollylicious, not Hollylicious’s two best friends who lead her everywhere.) Harley, an Englishman who seems to come from the east end – of Brisbane,* and Eddie, the man who’s forever ruined my memories of Iron Maiden.

*He’s pretty obsessed with the east actually, always going on about going to Lustria, sorry China

As my life flashes before me it appears that I only have time to review events since that day at the quarry. I would say it had all started so well, but clearly that would be an exaggeration what with the zombie apocalypse six months ago. Did I mention business was bad? Probably fair to say that that had something to do with it.

The only good thing I can think of is that the weather was surprisingly mild, as I believe someone remarked as we followed the odd figure into that quarry near Nova Dimitrovsk. I was cradling Tinkerbell in case of trouble; if I do say so myself I’m pretty handy with her at anything less than 800 metres, even with the silencer attached.

The quarry for who knows what* was full of abandoned machinery and trucks which distracted Harley and Eddie who both have a thing for anything with an engine. They soon made their excuses to go and dribble over each others crankshafts, which at least meant I could get a bit more alertness out of Ivan; it’s disconcerting to have a bodyguard who spends most of his time keeping his eye on Eddie’s Buttocks, and not because he thinks they might suddenly present a clear and present danger.

*Certainly not the MC

We caught up with our mysterious caped friend and I caught him by the shoulder to talk to him, keeping Thaddius in my right hand in case he tried anything’ After all, a .44 slug sorts out a lot of close range misunderstandings in my experience, in a fashion that completely eliminates the need for any boring explanations or apologies.

I was taken somewhat by surprise by a surge of psychic energy and I got an image of a man with a rifle and a child. The Psyker proved a little uncommunicative by normal means however, lacking as he did, a tongue. We asked some questions that could be fielded with nods or shakes of the head and then continued with our new friend to a door that led to a smallish underground bunker.

Here we met Davi* and his daughter Lola, the latter about nine years old. Great, having left Ivan guarding the door I now had to keep an eye on Krueger, mind you, judging by the well muscled appearance of Davi I would have been caught either way. Post apocalyptic recruitment agencies really do scrape the barrel.

*Or Generic Survivalist #1

We established that Davi was living with his daughter and shiny and dangerous looking rifle in this bunker with his best mate Kettle, our mute acquaintance who had built this place in happier times when nuclear holocaust was the anticipated end game.* The bunker was relatively secure and we got the impression that you’d probably have to do something at least slightly naughty before he riddled you with bullets, which is not a test I would like to seriously try with most of us.

*Happier times?

Meanwhile our tekkies were trying a bit of cannibalism. Well you know how it is in post apocalyptic situations. Actually, for the moment they were restricting themselves to cannibalising truck parts to try and fix up at least one of the dumper trucks.*

*Yes these did actually constitute the bunkers toilet facilities.

Davi mentioned a town called Pallet a days march north amongst other bits of intelligence. He also clearly distracted Ivan when we stepped out of the bunker and had a moment with Harley who found himself on the business end of his rifle when he appeared unexpectedly. They worked out the possible misunderstanding after Harley fingered his rifle* and we turned our attention to a slight problem that began to develop.

*Not a euphemism

This took the form of a zombie horde of considerable proportion which decided that this was the moment to shuffle over to that pesky quarry and have a good root round in it for any pesky survivors. We mounted up in a couple of vehicles and floored it. I was in the second vehicle driven by Eddie who seemed a little less confident than Harley who hammered through in the first with Holly blazing away at zombies in full gung ho mode until she dropped her weapon when a zombie crashed through the windscreen of Harley’s wheels.

We made it out of there somehow and headed back to the farm we had commandeered at that time. Davi had a little heart to heart with Harley around now involving some threatening knifework which cleared the air.

Well we took some time after that narrow escape. Pavlova and her biker gang would scout and scavenge for us, Eddie and Harley were fixing up things, boarding up accessways, fixing the vehicles, setting traps and alarms. Eddie’s a bit of an electronics whiz and was doing nerdy things that hopefully would prove useful. Harley got a couple of .5 calibre machine guns fitted on his cab for assisting our diplomatic missions. I spent half my time making sure that Krueger and Ivan behaved themselves and the other half working on and in my lab.

I just don’t know what society would do if I couldn’t get my production back on line, all my customers who relied on me for their fix and I wasn’t there for them. I was desperately worried that they’d experience severe withdrawals, kill themselves in despair or worse, find another supplier.

In order to try and distract myself from these burdens, I generously offered my body to Pavlova and Hollylicious,* which was when I discovered that they are lesbians. Still, perhaps if I persevere, mind you, Petrova’s rejection involved her waving an extremely sharp object very close to my principal and more important, only Penis.

*One at a time

Eddie and Harley finally finished their A-Team impression in the garage and we felt ready to go into town to see if we could pick up any supplies. Apart from food, we thought the police station and hospital would be a valuable source of drugs, weapons and equipment.

We all set out, Holly and Petrova manning the heavy guns on Harley’s semi. As we approached town, our way was blocked by a wrecked bus at a junction, forcing us to pull up. Our machine guns gave it a bit of a dusting as a precaution and Davi got out only to be shot by a sniper as he surveyed the road.

We could now see lurkers in the hedgerows, ready to rush us. I caught a glint of a muzzle flash as I swung up onto the roof to cover Krueger who I had ordered to seize the wounded man and drag him into cover. Ignoring a chip of metal as the bullet grazed the chassis I swung Tinkerbell smoothly up to my shoulder and fired in one fluid movement.

The sniper went down, well, at 300 metres it was hardly worth aiming. Then there came the heavy clatter of the point fives as they engaged in some X rated topiary, scything down our would be ambushers and turning them to a bloody pulp. I spent some time on first aid for Davi, and was able to stabilise what otherwise would surely have been a fatal wound.

Searching afterwards we came up with some bits and bobs from the bus and the sniper’s rifle I gave to Eddie. There was also a huge amount of medical supplies in the frm of blood, however sadly it wasn’t neatly packaged in plastic pints ready for transfusing, it was more the free range smeared all over the place type. My dynamic duo stocked up on a few knives and Harley got the bus out of the way, demonstrating some uncharacteristically accident-free reversing.

We headed into town, guided by our biker outriders, heading as it turned out, for the dead centre of town*. Here at Police Plaza, we were slightly surprised to see lights on and signs of movement within. Eddie flew one of his useful inventions, a remote controlled drone up to investigate further, revealing that a large group of armed men were flagrantly looting the premises in a disgraceful display of lawlessness that was really annoying as we were the ones who should have been doing that.

*In more ways than one

We were then hailed from a nearby building where associates of the looters were covering us with grenade launchers. Turned out they were from Pallet. We asked for help with medical supplies as they warned us that the hospital was zombie ground zero in so far as local traffic news was concerned.

We agreed to trade them a lift back to Pallet in exchange for supplies but joined the raid on the police station first. Unfortunately the security systems were beyond our current capabilities to breach in terms of the juicy looking armoury so we headed out with some score of passengers, heading for the fabled city of Pallet, which turned out to be a factory surrounded by a wall of…well, pallets.


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