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 Of course you realise...

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Number of posts : 773
Registration date : 2007-04-26

Of course you realise... Empty
PostSubject: Of course you realise...   Of course you realise... EmptyMon 25 Jan - 12:28:43

Of Course You Realise…

Well as Ross once said, we’re on a break. Everything is peaceful, we have slightly erased memories but can’t remember why and a new employment deal tied up with the eminently trustworthy Rimaldi who have presented us with our shiny new ship the SS Maverick War Bastard, although spelling issues around the name suggest that Quentin Tarantino may have been involved.*

*War is after all a tricky word to spell.

After some leisurely brochure perusal Sar, who needs to spend some time training his keen psychic powers* further decides a break away on Sirigallis presents the ideal holiday package for his heroic crew. A bit of smooth navigation by me and we arrive in double quick time.

*Apparently the market for psykers capable of teleporting reasonably large ants over modest distances, is not as lucrative as he had hoped.

We land in a relatively quiet area of the main starport and decide to take in the sights. We find a typical upmarket tech level four world with pleasant architecture, a fair number of tourists and lots of heavily armed troops. Hang on a minute, there are an awful lot of troops. And armoured vehicles. And security checkpoints. And more troops. And are anti-aircraft batteries a traditional local feature of park design?

Re reading the brochure we can find no reference to any of this- even in the fully interactive quaint local customs section and we turn to the local news networks, which even as we tune in are breaking the story of a Terra Prima invasion of the planet Batal, accompanied by a declaration of war against the Sunbeam Union.*

*Thank Chrysler for that

Checking our ‘Hang on who’s side are we on again?’ app. Recently downloaded by SAMUEL and supported by the network news anchor and his various experts, we establish that the Rimaldi (That’s us now/ this week) have a non-aggression pact with Terra Prime and we are therefore quite pro this savage act of inter galactic terrorism by our good mates.

But it turns out to be a busy news day and no sooner have we digested the opening of hostilities than the Marques Republic declares war on the Rimaldi. Their opening act of unfriendliness is the destruction of the planet Radwa, recently visited so successfully by our good selves. Apparently it was blown up by highly unsporting nuclear weapons planted in the planetary crust.

We receive notification shortly thereafter of our assignment- It’s a mission to Batal. Find and destroy a converted freighter in orbit being used for landing troops to aid the defence. Siege Master Bob Sinclair aboard Terra Prima Battleship One will be our commander in the field.

We make the jumps to the Actaris system to find three Terra Prime battleships in orbit enforcing an inefficient blockade. Assault vessels with empty drop pod bays are returning from the planet and we make contact with Bob by video link. Bob has had some minor scrapes with the enemy in the past that has left part of his face elsewhere or possibly just melted, and certain other parts have received mechanical upgrades. Possibly because of these he’s not exactly a barrel of laughs.

He sends us a tactical briefing and we quiz him on the details of the mission. The initial assault wave is in the process of being destroyed, several hundred thousand expendable conscripts using up enemy ammunition in preparation for elite shock troops who will attack at 1900 hours.

The troop transport has landed in a major city with some 15,000 defenders. After some discussion, we decide to attack shortly after nightfall which will fall in the target area a little before 1800. Bob will helpfully send in an assault by 80,000 expendables against the target area as a distraction. Bob anticipates 100% casualties by the time the second wave goes in.

There was some debate as Bob was instructing us to seize and hold the freighter and not to damage it. It was obvious our true objective was something or someone on board, he indicated it would be lifting off to evacuate at 1900 and we had to prevent this. We argued for some time as to whether Bob as a Terran could override our original instructions, I felt our orders were to obey his commands, others, possibly more used to the shady plot twists in a cruel galaxy, differed.

We dropped in a wraith shuttle with no problems except SAM nearly dislocated his metal shoulders with his stylish swerving steering and we landed a quarter of mile away avoiding the air defences which we had heard were degraded by about 40%. We disembarked and headed for the target I fell behind after taking a scout from a vantage point higher in the car park where we had landed. It was therefore a group of four that ran into the truck.

SAMUEL opened fire knocking out the truck, smashing the forward compartment with his plasma gun and killing one of the pair in the front seats, but it kind of went downhill after that… A number of passengers spilled out as Sar, Skarl and Thud opened fire too, but Skarl with her missile launcher proved less than accurate.

SAM was then hit and went down, a grenade was hurled in our general direction, but the enemy trooper was clearly channelling some Thud vibes and the throw went wild. Skarl levitated one trooper dropping him onto another and although I now caught up my fire was as unsuccessful as that of my comrades. Sar was badly hit and teleported away round the corner.

Skarl was more successful hitting another opponent but two passengers had dived through a nearby shop front lumping a heavy machine gun.

Thud, (has he learned nothing?) hurled a grenade in after them but it didn’t prevent a stream of machine gun fire opening up on us. Thud dived in and was grappling monoblade to monoblade with the machine gunner as Skarl and I finished off the last pair. SAM having engaged repair protocols, headed off to the target with Sar, as increasingly insistent demands over the comms from Terran officers and even Bob demanded to know what was happening.

After a brief shout I went after the Ship too whilst Skarl moved to help Thud whose prowess with a monoblade had to be seen to be believed.* Fortunately Skarl with her cheating psychic powers was able to kill the enemy, at which point Thud attacked the floor in the general vicinity of the body until he eventually connected (probably accidentally) and somewhat pointlessly with the corpse.

*He later claimed he had been swatting some irritating flies and not aiming at his opponent at all.

Meanwhile at the business end of the mission we could now see our target: It was in a compound accessed by a gateway guarded by two towers mounting heavy machine guns. A stream of military trucks were continually entering and leaving and the sounds of battle were getting closer as our conscript allies fought and died to gain us respite.

There was a civilian entrance to a different part of the compound nearby and it was a civilian vehicle we were able to break into to charge the compound. Thud had meanwhile wandered off towards the gate by himself, grenades possibly on his (tiny) mind. SAM eventually got the vehicle going having found the keys behind the visor and Sar and Skarl joined he and I aboard.

We dropped a plan involving teleporting to the tower tops and simply engaged them as we approached, one blowing up with a rare successful missile strike from Skarl. We roared through the gate in the confusion, Thud cleverly blending in by opening fire on us which some of us felt was a less than helpful tactic. I guess we were lucky he didn’t pop a grenade through our window as we passed.

Skarl now missed the tower with another missile and the car took more damage as it headed for the freighter, whose engines were already warming up. Thud climber the tower and flipped the gunner over the edge as SAM brought the damaged car to a screeching halt near our objective. Sar teleported atop it, and squinting into a viewing port, teleported inside.

Skarl fired on the freighter now as we grew desperate to disable it and SAM engaged his cutter with the same thought in mind. Inside Sar had found his way to a computer interface in the medical bay but was struggling to hack into the control systems despite my sage advice over the link.*

*It’s 6-2-2-6 you idiot!

Sar was still hopelessly hacking as the transport lifted off but then a final hit from Thud on the tower hit a critical engine power link shorting it out and it dropped several metres back to the surface with a jolt….

And that’s all we’ve got time for this week, join us again next week for another episode of Twits in Space when you’ll hear Bob say: ‘You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off’ and Sar say: ‘That was that 6-2-6-6 wasn’t it?’


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