Mining Disaster*
*Particularly appropriate given the chilly weather*
* How much funnier and more topical that joke would have been about a year ago.
After much calculated deliberation* we decided to return to the mines to secure the teleport coordinates for our beloved Kerry and possibly vast amounts of booty. In our guise of Defias loyalists we returned to the entrance and ordered the guards there to supply us with a guide to return to the heart of the underground warren.
*Regular readers will be aware that this is a euphemism for hopeless indecision
The human marked our pathway surreptitiously and we eventually arrived safely at our destination, the teleport chamber. We had a conversation with a goblin technician who was highly cooperative to the Defias captain with the funny accent. He even gave the coordinates of the terminal: 25 64 64 88. The Venture corps terminal code was 10 100 666, but our willingness to go there if gathered together and amassed in a vessel capable of holding such a nebulous desire, would not fill a thimble designed for very small ants.
We decided that we had quite enough information now and decided to return, encountering our surprised guide who had not expected us to be returning so soon from our mission to visit the forgemaster. He was somewhat concerned however, having discovered some of our somewhat crude navigation markings. We immediately assured him that we should investigate as we proceeded with him, and we began the long ascent back.
We encountered a Captain Hamburg after a while, an inquisitive type accompanied by a number of heavily armed friends. He indicated that he had been ordered to seal off the mine following trouble down below, and we gave him a number of conflicting ill thought out cover stories that would have aroused the suspicions of a four year old.
I decided that tact and diplomacy required a touch of violent death to give much needed authenticity, sadly my magical attack was effortlessly absorbed by the unexpectedly powerful Burger, who far from being 29% horse, was in fact 29% ‘extremely powerful don’t mess with me ‘cos I’m a big boss and your worst nightmare’.
So we returned in custody, our arms having been made useless by some arcane form of poisoning which effectively rendered us helpless. We were taken before the two headed ogre mage, Morgoth, leader of the Blood Order who decided to deal with Plainsweaver and Fuqnosia. Thoughtful leader that he was, he engaged in some unsolicited career counselling for the pair. He decided that Mining was the way forward, and a hitherto unsuspected benefit to this new career path was the removal of unnecessary organs, beginning with the tongue.
Having witnessed this act o barbarity, the rest of us were taken down to the Juggernaught where we met the top hated admiral Lord Perrenhold. The fetishist in black leather looking on from the damaged poop* was the fabled Van Cleef. We explained that we were there to alert them to the dangers of a horrendous goblin plot to destroy them and seize the Juggernaught, but it turned out that they were already fully apprised of the situation and had already dealt with Galleywix, the goblin ringleader who had so helpfully explained everything to us on our previous visit.
*Nasty
The Admiral decided to finish us in combat and very sportingly released us from our poisoned state so that we could make a good fist of it. Less sportingly, he transformed into a werewolf and attacked us. I hit him with a ball of fire from my wand but he was incredibly strong and Wodwanker was quickly seriously injured. Lutzbar struggled with him whilst I gallantly turned invisible and healed the fallen warrior.
I also seriously injured the admiral in some admiral on admiral action, heroically ensuring that I only attacked when he wasn’t looking. After much effort and largely thanks to the orc’s combat prowess, we emerged triumphant but somewhat beaten up. The pirates were daunted by our performance but not so Van Cleef. However, he took a very pragmatic view stating that I should replace the fallen admiral as his retirement director.
Apparently, after destroying Stormwind with the Juggernaught, he was retiring to Gilneas. Sentinel Hill was already being destroyed, courtesy of the bomb the Venture Corps goblins had planned to turn on the defius.
So in fact we reached quite an amicable settlement and received booty in return. Our tongueless friends were healed and their speech returned which may well be a good thing, you never know. We helped wipe out the treacherous goblins and took Van Cleef off to his retirement home in Gilneas after he rejected my suggestion of Bournmouth. We sought to find the Night Elf via our old friend Nessingwary, who we eventually tracked down in Duskwood.
He had lost Errol who had gone to Beggars Haunt but we did find the Night elf teleport guy who after a bit of drug purification treatment by Plansweaver perked up enough to take us back to Kerry who cried for almost three or four seconds on hearing of the death of Kasbo. She arranged for the attack on Stormwind to be thwarted and we were released from her service and actually paid.
We now have several options:
1 Return to Van Cleef seeking employment
2 Return to Duskwood to investigate a house we had found during our return. Here we had found evidence of human sacrifice and daemonic summoning rituals, all pretty run of the mill Duskwood type scenarios in a country where the undead are an essential element in any pastoral scene.
3 A quest involving a juicy sounding diamond.
2.2.13
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